Start. Stop. Continue.

Today's prompt of the #30Layers30Days is Start. Stop. Continue.

START: What do you want to start doing? What do you want more of in your life? What feelings, what activities, what energy? What baby step can you take today?

I want to start loving myself more. I want more love in my life. I'm at a point where I'm mostly filled with hatred. I feel like I'm always angry and I hate it. I just want to feel happy. I want the smile that is always on my face to be real. I want to be positive. I want to get out more and do things that I love to do... Things that I have forgotten. I'm not sure where to start. There are so many things that I feel are holding me back. The most I can do is let the journey start from within.

STOP: What have you had enough of? What are you tolerating or feeding into that is not adding value to your life? What area of your life is begging for more boundaries?

This is hard to say, but I'm tired of my marriage. I know marriage isn't easy, but over the last six years, I feel as if I have lost more than I've gained. I'm tolerating the emotional abuse that I know isn't good for me. I'm tolerating being married because I want our children to be happy and grow up in a two parent home. As much as I would love for things to work out, I have to say that they won't if things don't change.

CONTINUE: What habits or trends do you want to continue? What's been working for you? What can you do to ensure you keep it going?

I want to continue being a great mother to my children. I feel like I exist because of them. I'm standing up for myself more. Not taking any s***, and even though we argue more... It's working for me. At this point. I have to start with me. And I'll end this with a verse from one of my favorite songs:

And her name is me
And she loves me more than you'll ever know
And I finally see that
Loving you and loving me just don't seem to work at all
So patiently
She's waiting on me to tell you that she needs love
And to choose between you two
Boy you know if I have to choose I choose me

-Tamia: "Me"

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