Hi there! I have to be honest… It’s taking everything in me to actually make this post.
I remember a time when blogging was my LIFE! I loved everything about it! Making new friends… Reading and returning comments… Designing my own themes… The freedom of it being MINE! Then came the monetization, SEO, and sponsored posts… A world that I could never get into… A world that caused me to stray away from the savior of my life.
I miss the blogging community… I miss the bond that we had sharing our lives with one another.
As much as I wish that I could get that back, I’ve come to the realization that it’s probably not going to happen. In the meantime, I have to decide what is going to happen to my personal space of the web.
I came in to this year with disappointment and excitement. I’m disappointed with my current state of employment, but excited that I only have a year left in school. I decided to buckle down and increase the number of courses that I’m taking. It’s going to be hard work, but I’m determined to have a degree sooner rather than later.
My job? I hate it. I hate that it keeps me away from my family. My old boss extended the offer to come back, but I don’t want to be a paper pusher. I want to do something…meaningful.
I was supposed to choose a word for 2018, and I came up with…nothing. LOL! Absolutely nothing. I currently feel defeated.
I did opt for goals to accomplish instead of resolutions. Let’s be honest…how many of us can really stick to a resolution? I felt like creating goals was a much better alternative. I plan to create a vision board for my office space.
I’m trying to make 2018 the year of change. I just have to find the motivation to make those changes, because they won’t make themselves.
December 10. The rain has cleared and blue skies are back. I am one day away from Finals Week. One week away from being done with this semester from hell. I haven’t had a life outside of Humanities and Precalculus. As of yesterday, I’ve completed 65+ hours of Precalculus work and spent countless hours working on content for my Humanities course. I abandoned social media, posting less than 10 pictures a month. I hadn’t touched my planner in 4 weeks prior to yesterday. My life has consisted of going to work, homework for myself and the kids, and sleep.
I decided to switch my minor back to Programming. Over the summer, I switched it to Web Development, because I felt like programming was too hard. What I forgot is that I LOVE programming, and that I already know how to develop websites. I decided to stop being a punk and do what I need, instead of what’s going to be easy to get.
Work sucks. In two weeks, I’ll be working the late shift and won’t see my kids for a week. While working in IT is my dream… Working for a help desk isn’t. I’m the only woman in my department. I earned an exceptional rating for my yearly review, but I still feel like the world is against me. Everyone seems to have placed themselves in a competition with me. My supervisor says this is a good thing because I make the team better. Sometimes I have to take errors that are mistakes on someone else’s part because,
Even though you had a few points taken off, and we know that this isn’t correct, we have to keep it. Your scores are the highest on the team. If we were to dispute this, it would hurt the team.
Yeah, still don’t see how that’s my fault, but it is. I’m frustrated. I want to move on, but I keep feeling like now isn’t the right time. I keep feeling like I should finish my degree before I try something different. I keep waiting and waiting… For what?
I’m a slacker, lol! But I really do have good intentions when it comes to blogging. Life has been coming at me in every direction these days.
My job has implemented rotating schedules. The range of shifts that I work makes it hard when it comes to my family and school. I’ve been making it work, but I’m trying to explore other options as well.
Since the last time I blogged, I’ve sold both of those B6 traveler’s notebooks. I’ve settled nicely into another brand of traveler’s notebooks by Salty Katie Co. I’ve also set up a new space in this tiny apartment that will be dedicated to photographing products. It’s big enough to fit some of my studio equipment and a nice wood table that we inherited. The table is also sturdy enough to double as a bench, so win!
We’ve taken trips to Orlando, Florida and Washington, DC. It’s been great for the kids to get out of the city and see more of the world. In Orlando, we went to a small water park and explored some of the city. In DC, I was attending the Black Women Who Plan And Create National Conference. We had Stephanie Fleming from Me and My Big Ideas and Carie Harling from Dispatches From The Frat House as keynote speakers. J and the kids went to Baltimore, MD before visiting the Smithsonian Zoo. The next day, we visited the National Museum of African American History before walking to the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. I can’t wait to go back and explore more of the city. There was so much that we couldn’t do in the day that we had.
I think we are done traveling for 2017, but next year we are making plans to visit Jamaica and Vegas!
August is right around the corner. I’ve decided to challenge myself and try One Book: August.
What is One Book: August
One Book: August is a planner challenge. You choose the month you’re going to participate. Then, you choose the planner that you are going to commit to.
This year so far, I have 7 planner systems. I started the year in my Erin Condren Hourly. I moved into a Purposeful Planner, and then a pocket size traveler’s notebook. By June, I had switched to an EC Hardbound planner. Now, I’ve settled into a B6 sized traveler’s notebook.
This month’s options
I’ve settled nicely into my B6 system over the last week. My intention was to only purchase one traveler’s notebook, but the second was a deal that I couldn’t bypass.
While I love the sturdiness of the Chic Sparrow, I’m leaning more towards the floppier Foxy Fix. I love the reinforced spine, and it’s also dirt and water resistant. Unfortunately, the smell of it gives me a headache. It doesn’t have that signature leather smell that I’ve associated traveler’s notebooks. I’m hoping that airing it out will at least make it smell normal. Foxy Fix was also my first choice, but the one month wait was a bit much for me. I ordered a Chic Sparrow, and it was delivered a week later.
If you’ve seen my Instagram, you probably see that I’ve been switching between the two quite frequently. Both are amazing brands, and it’s going to be a “game time” decision for me. If the Foxy Fix can let go of that smell, it just might be a winner.
Today is the beginning of Life: Chapter 32. I am currently sitting at work, but I did take the opportunity to go out and have some photos taken. I met up with my sister at one of my favorite parks with some of the most disrespectful balloons ever. Yes, they beat me up. I also made my way to Best Buy to pick up a shiny new iPad Pro. Happy birthday to me!
Even though, I didn’t get to celebrate today, I did get to spend some time out with my family on Wednesday. We went to the movies to see War For The Planet Of The Apes, then had lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. It wasn’t much, but for a weekday, it ended up being perfect.
As I look back on 31, I realize that I’ve accomplished more than I set out to. I enrolled in college last August to finish my Bachelor’s in Information Technology. I made the President’s List twice, and I’m on the Scholar’s List now. In February, I secured a new job in the IT field. Despite the fact that it may not be permanent, I’m enjoying the experience. In July, we took our first family vacation. We cruised for 5 days to The Bahamas. I also booked our next vacation to Washington, D.C. in October. Life is also looking a lot healthier, financially and physically.
I’m going into 32 as a much happier and less stressed person. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I want for my life over the last year. I’m grateful for all of the support that I’ve had in making decisions about doing what’s best for me. My goal is to make 32 a million times better. It’s past time to get those bucket list items checked off, or maybe even time to create a new one. I’m so excited about what this next chapter has in store.
This year, we decided to take our first family vacation. It all started in January. His parents had already picked out a location. All I had to do was swipe my credit card and show up.
Our family vacation was a 5 day Carnival cruise to the Bahamas. We visited Nassua and Freeport, but it wasn’t anywhere near what I expected. The plan was to take tours of the sites. That idea turned into a riding tour that paused outside of the sites for only a few moments. Not even long enough to take photos.
What I Won’t Do Again
First off, I will never travel with that many people. Ever! I understand that this was our family vacation, but there were 16 of us total. Of that 16, there were only 7 adults. The teenagers clung to my husband and I, because we are the most laid back. What was supposed to be fun turned into me being annoyed by how childish and unruly they were. It felt more like babysitting than vacation. We eventually ditched them.
Second, I will stick to my own plans. We had ideas of how we wanted to spend our days. The kids wanted to go to the beach. We wanted to do a walking tour and spend time exploring the city. Somewhere along the line, everyone decided that we should just follow the more experienced travelers. They had already been to the island multiple times, so they would know all of the good places to go. While the Baha Mar resort was nice, our visit was limited to 30 minutes.
The vacation was fun, but I found myself letting my attitude get the best of me. I snapped at my fair share of people, and the last night was a complete disaster. Life is a learning experience, though. I learned that family vacations need to be focused on our family, and not the entire family. Next time will be better.
I will make another post soon with the photos of things we did get to experience.
Once upon a time, I lived for blogging. Sometimes I wrote multiple posts a day, detailing every single aspect of my life. That was a time when oversharing was the norm. Back when everyone was creating a blog as a new come-up.
I’ve never been big on monetizing my blog, even though I tried once or twice. I find myself marching to the beat of my own drum… Easily turned off by anything that starts to feel more like a job than a hobby. That’s where I was with blogging.
Thirteen years later and here I am again. Feeling an urge to own my space on the web again. Feeling an urge to get back to what makes me happy. This year has been amazing for me. I have a new job. School is going well. I’ve started to find out who I really am, and started to do things that interest me.
I lost myself in being a mother and wife. I let those things become a crutch… An excuse as to why my life was boring. I found myself becoming this unrecognizable person, losing the light in my eyes.
So I’m back again. Hopefully for a while, but I can’t make any guarantees. At the end of the day, this is a part of my journey. I’m trying to birth a vision that I’ve had for some time. It’s time to continue finding myself, and I hope that you’ll stick around for the ride.