Photography Resurrected – 004/365

T. Selena Photography

I did a thing, and brought back T. Selena Photography.

Since high school, I have been dabbling in photography on and off. Every few years or so, I would start a business, then realize that I prefer it as a hobby. Mostly because owning a business is hard work. I am also super critical of myself… Sometimes I feel like I’m not as good as other photographers. Other times, I struggle with figuring out what to charge. (Which always ends up being way less than my worth, because I don’t want to “hurt people’s pockets.”)

So I quit. Plain and simple. I would still do my annual holiday event and a couple of random sessions if people family asked. But marketing myself and promoting a business? Absolutely not. Problem is… People like my work. During December 2019’s holiday event, I made 3 times more than previous years!

How it all started…

Honestly, I have to give credit to my co-worker. The motivation to bring back the business started with her asking for my website address, which at the time was a holding space for my client galleries. She looked at my work, then proceeded to show it to her family and friends. That turned into asking for my business card and price list (which I didn’t have).

So, the Sunday before New Year’s Day, I woke up determined to get this shit together. I had already created the logos for the annual event. I upgraded my Pixieset account, then spend most of the day researching prices for my area. I updated my portfolio and worked on the website page by page. I created another Facebook page and updated the business’s Instagram. Next week, I’ll be registering the business and applying for my license.

I didn’t make any plans for 2020, but it looks like 2020 has plans for me. I didn’t realize how much I had grown as an individual. Four days into the year, and wow! Who am I?

Relationship Advice To Who? – 003/365

So, today was weird. I did a thing, and gave relationship advice to my ex.

It may not seem like a huge deal, but I never give advice. EVER! Honestly, I think I’m a terrible advice giver, especially when it’s relationship advice. I often struggle with the right words to say, despite having so many different experiences. But, this time felt different.

It all started with a conversation about needing new friends…to which he responded that he needed a girlfriend. I reminded him that he’s a great catch… (Because…why not? We didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t perfect for someone else, right?)

Then, I proceeded to tell him about the little things that I’ve noticed about him as a person over the years. Things that would definitely ruin any relationship. Things that he may not have noticed about himself. I assured him that there is someone out there who is capable of understanding him.

Basically, I said that we all have natural reactions to relationships. In order to succeed in a relationship, you have recognize and understand your natural reaction. You have to figure out why you react that way, then find a solution. Is it easy? Sometimes no, but therapy is a godsend.

For example: Through therapy, I have learned that my natural reaction is to push people away when I feel like they are too close to capturing my heart. The why traces back to my childhood. As the youngest of six, I often felt forgotten or unloved. I was shy, so I didn’t have many friends. And overall, I really started to like being alone. Therapy has helped me recognize when I’m pushing people away. For me, I start arguments or I just flat out stop talking to you, sometimes going as far as changing my phone number and blocking people on social media. The solution? Yeah…I’m still working on that.

The best advice that I have to give is: If you really want something to work, you have to take the time to understand yourself first. If you don’t get you, then how can you expect someone else to?

Damn, I love therapy, lol.

New Year, New…Never Mind – Day 001/365

Let me start by saying, “Happy New Year!”

A bit of reflection about what I’ve been up to since the last New Year’s Day? I had more [paid] photography gigs; took my first flight to Vegas; graduated; and I started therapy. I ended the year by revamping my photography website to prepare for business in 2020. There are some other things that I have placed in motion, that I hope to be able to share soon. But, that is not the reason for me resurfacing on this blog.

I made a decision…

I woke up this morning, and my first thought was: I need to change my diet. For the last 13 years, I have been struggling with adult acne. I’ve tried so many different routines to try and correct it, but nothing works. The one thing that I have never tried is changing the way that I eat.

I spent the morning researching low and high glycemic foods, as well as foods that can cause or worse acne. I also joined a PoC Skincare group on Facebook to learn more about products that would work best for my skin. The one thing about living in South Carolina is that it is hard to find a Black dermatologist. The products I’ve been prescribed so far by dermatologists don’t work for me at all.

So starting today, no dairy or sugar, and limiting caffeine and meat. It’s also time for my Nexplanon to be removed. I’ll be trying to work out more and drink more water. I also picked up some vitamins, a new face wash, and moisturizer.

So hopefully, I’ll see some improvements within the next couple of months. I just need to be healthier overall, and losing weight in the process would be a win.

2020 is going to be a year of reflecting and changing how I navigate life. I’ll be back soon.