What is happiness?

My therapist asked me this question about happiness two weeks ago, and I have yet to truly answer.

Truth is… I don’t know what happiness is outside of the Merriam-Webster definition. It’s not something that I’ve truly considered. Happiness is something that I’ve thought about, then immediately said to myself that it’s outside of my reach.

  • What is happiness to me?
  • What will I do to change the things in my life?
  • What makes my happiness less important than others?
  • What is my dream?

When I told my therapist that I didn’t know how to answer this question, she responded:

You are the one who has so much going for herself, but you don’t feel empowered by your position.

Dr. Keshia Keith

And it’s so true! I recently told a good friend, that I have been “dumbing” myself down to make others feel comfortable. When I think about my life, I notice a trend of always putting others before myself. I always think about how others will be affected, or how they would feel about me if I said, “Fuck this! I’m going to do something for me!” I have to start putting myself first. It is my nature to encourage others to follow their dreams, but I struggle with following my own. I struggle with opening up and showing the real me. I have so much potential to be great, but I’m choosing to be mediocre. I’m choosing to keep myself down, instead of forcing others to keep up.

With this is mind, I was able to somewhat answer the questions. Here is what I came up with:

What is happiness to me?

Happiness is living! Having breath in my body. Focusing on the good in my life and not the negative. Being positive and giving my all. Not being resentful of those around me, but appreciating their progress and positivity. Celebrating successes. Striving to be the best version of me.

What will I do to change things in my life?

In order to change things in my life, I need to change my way of thinking about life. I have to stop being so negative, and take time to think about my actions. Write more. Set daily affirmations as a remind to find the positive in all things, and think about my feelings.

What makes my happiness less important than others?

In reality, my happiness is not less important than anyone else’s. I am in control of my own happiness. It is not something that I should look for in other people, but something that I should find within myself.

If I cannot create my own happiness, then how can I expect others to make me happy?

What is my dream?

My dream is to have a job that I love. To have a home that I love, and a happy and healthy relationship with someone. To have my children grow up to be successful in life. What is your dream?